Sunday, September 6, 2009

Where do all the single people play?

Back in the 90s when I was between marriages there were many places to go to meet single people. There were single dances on Wednesday, Friday and Saturday nights.

Wednesday night was the "hump" night dance, an activity to distract us from the work week and give us some kind of hope for the weekend. The Saturday night dance was filled with the "left overs" of folks who couldn't find a date. Those dances were the worst.

My friends and I would go to the Friday night dance where 400 other singles gathered. The hall was spacious, the drinks were cheap and the music was top 40 hits. I learned how to do the Hustle and the cha cha slide and lost 80 pounds cause I loved to dance so much. I have some great memories of those dancing days.

Then I met a man and married him, but as I said , that marriage ended in divorce. So when I was ready to get back out in the dating world I discovered that the dances that once were busy with hundreds of men and women, had lost their appeal. The parking lot that used to use a bus to shuttle people back and forth to the door was dotted with 20 or 30 cars.

What had happened over the years to lead to the demise of the Friday night dances? Where did all the single people my age go? Where was I going to dance?

It didn't take me long to figure out that the Internet had replaced the dances. That's where I met my last boyfriend and that's one of the avenues I'm planning on using to date this time.

When I tell people I have a personal ad their eyebrows usually go up and then I have to hear a lecture on being safe, the Craig's list killer, and the latest horror stories of 13 year olds meeting up with old married men. I then have to spend 10 minutes reassuring them that I'm not stupid.

For some reason people assume if you meet someone online that they come with some type of tainted goods tag yet people meet people in bars, restaurants, school and work all of the time. What makes that type of meeting any safer? I could sit next to a male co-worker for a year and not really know him. I know the rules for internet dating: get to know them, meet in a busy location, tell a friend about the meeting beforehand, and use common sense.

I just recently discovered that the one dating site I belong too has "get togethers". I've signed up for two so far. The first is a hay ride and barn dance. The great thing about is that most of the people are in their 40s and 50s, so I should fit right in. The other activity is a bar night. I might go to it, I'm not sure yet.

There are also "meet ups" that a person can find in their area. People meet up for dinner or the movies. Here's a link to their website. Meet Up Type in your interest and area and if there are meet ups that are similar to that interest you can either join or get on a waiting list.

There are a few single dances left in this area also. I plan on blogging about those in the future.

One of the reasons I have to be so proactive about this adventure is that most of my friends are either younger, married or in a relationship. So, I'm basically alone when it comes to venturing out as a single woman. Even though I'm not afraid to go alone, it would be great to have a female comrade to go along with. Hopefully, I'll be able to meet some single women and make friends with them too.
Although there is something to be said about going it alone. The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready. Henry David Thoreau

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