I've only had my personal ad online for about 4 weeks, and although I trying to stay lighthearted about it, it's going to take awhile to sift through the available "fish" that are swimming in the dating pool.
My profile is upbeat, friendly and sincere. I mention the fact that I'm a big girl and I have a picture of me from two years ago where I am about 15 pounds less and one of me now. All of the pictures except one are current and I spent time getting them right! I won't put any old picture on my profile, unlike a lot of people.
I talk about my goals, my hobbies and my personality. I say I want to date and that hopefully, with the right match, it would lead into a long term relationship.
I yammer on and on about my philosophy of life and what I'm looking for, a kind, honest good man.
Yet, the emails I receive make me think that either my account has been hijacked and replaced by a "free sex" ad, or men just look at a picture and don't bother to read the profile.
Here are some examples of some of the emails I've received. Usually it takes the man two emails to get to this point.
- How sensual are you?
- Can I service you?
- Can I send you a picture? (I tell them yes if it's clean. Then they ask when can they send the naked pics.
- Do I have any naked pics?
- You either want to get ****** or you don't.
- You have a sexy mouth
- I like your chest
- I like you a lot; can we get married. (???)
I notice there is a pattern also to the men who are looking for sex. I get the most emails on Friday and Saturday night. The men that write on the weekends to me are a lot younger too.
They range in age from 23 up. This was flattering the first few times I was contacted, but now it's annoying. Do young men think that women in their 50s are all cougars? Or do they think we are desperate? Sometimes I think it's a fraternity prank when a young man writes to me. I'm usually a smart ass and tell them I have clothes in my closet older than them.
During the middle of the week is when I get emails from men who seem to be sincere, looking for companionship or a friend. They chit chat about work, restaurants and family. They might send a hug or a kissing smiley face in an email, but they are usually pretty respectful.
But of the several sincere men I've corresponding with, I don't have a connection with any of them yet. At this point, no one intrigues me, fascinates me or makes me want to know them better (except for one nice looking man who lives on the other side of the state) and he is just looking for online friends. I've been on one date so far (although it was more of a meeting than a date). More about that later.
So, it's going to be a long bumpy ride. My skin has thickened already in the past two weeks. I'm glad I'm not taking this too seriously.
If you are reading this and you are married, you might want to give your spouse an extra hug today. The grass on this side of the fence is full of weeds, thorns and grubs.
But, somewhere over here, I'm hoping to find a nice patch of green!