Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Over the phone chemistry
About a month ago I was contacted by a guy named Bob from a dating site I'm on. He had a nice profile..holding hands, flea markets, window shopping and cooking meals together. It was brief, but I liked it. He didn't smoke or drink or jump out of planes. My kind of guy!
We started to chat and found out we had a LOT in common. He loved old movies, especially horror and science fiction. He got so happy on one of our chats that he asked if he could call me. So I agreed.
Our phone conversations consisted of swapping stories about our favorite movies, restaurants and books. We seemed to really have chemistry over the phone. He started texting me daily. "I miss you * I'm thinking about you * I like your smile."
It was fun getting so much attention from him. He started making plans for us to spend Mondays together for lunch, have a BBQ at his house and watch his big screen TV.
After a week of phone conversations which ended in him called me babe and sweetheart, we decided to meet.
Like well informed online daters, we decided to meet for coffee at McDonald's.
I arrived first (on purpose) so I could position myself facing the door, ready to smile when he arrived. I was wearing a blue shirt, he was to arrive in a yellow shirt. Several minutes after I arrived I saw a tall man in a yellow shirt walk into the restaurant.
I don't know if the look of disappointment showed, and I feel shallow for saying so, but his online picture was so much nicer looking that the real deal. (readers,,listen and learn..if the profile picture is the size of a postage stamp and is taken from 25 feet away, beware)..
I won't describe in too much detail some of his features, but it was hard to look at him. I know how terrible that sounds, but sometimes the eyes have it, and when you can't look into a person's eyes, you are in trouble. That's what happened to me. I tried to pick out a feature that was pleasant to look at. Since it wasn't his eyes, his nose or his lips, I looked at his smooth complexion. It was the best I could do.
During lunch, Bob did all the talking. I tried to keep up with him, but he was on a roll. Maybe he too was disappointed or maybe just nervous, but he yammered on and on about the variety of restaurants that were close to his office.
The conversation went a little like this...
Bob..."well, I like to go to Big Boy on Wednesday, but sometimes I go to Max and Erma's, although I haven't been there in awhile. On Monday I go to Busch's Market because they have free chocolate chip cookies, so I go in and grab a handful and walk around and eat them, and then as I am leaving I grab another handful. Sometimes, if I feel like Chinese, I go to the Chinese place and then I like to go to Taco Bell. But, then, there's this really good food court in the mall, there's Burger King, and Panera bread, and The Wok shop, and a coney island, and etc, etc. etc......
There was no where for me to jump in and talk. So, I just made little agreeing sounds like, "oh, Wow, Nice."
After lunch he looked at me and said, "so what do you think?"
I wasn't sure what he meant, so he clarified it.."What do you think about us?"
Since I'm a nice person, I answered, "I would like to see you again." (what was I supposed to do, he had just bought me a cheeseburger and fries.)
He walked me to my car and gave me an awkward hug, promising to call me later on.
The next day he called me and gave me a run down of his day, called me babe, and I never heard from him again.
I gave him a "test" one day when I saw him online. I wondered if he would respond to me so I wrote..
I wrote, "How are you?"
He replied, "fine"
I wrote, "well, have a nice night."
He replied, "Thx"
Funny. He couldn't even spell out the work thanks. That was the end of our correspondence. He never told me why he lost interest. I didn't care one way or the other because I too had lost interest. Maybe he picked that up with my body language. Maybe he wanted me to be more aggressive. I'll never know.
It's one of the great mysteries of online dating. It's the reason I can't let any of it get to me. I take it all with a grain of salt and a smile.
If my date with Bob would have been a match made in heaven, this sure would have been a short lived blog!