Wednesday, January 13, 2010

What's with all this cuddling?

Several times over the past few weeks, men have written to me and one of the first suggestions for a date is to come over and cuddle.

I personally love to cuddle, however, I hardly think it's what I want to do on a first date. I would like to reserve that for someone whom I'm extremely fond of and want to have a relationship with. Cuddling with a perfect stranger is the furthest thing from my mind. Not to mention, I think it's the new code word for "let's have sex."

Not only do the men on the online dating sites use this word in every other profile, now there are "cuddle parties" where people who don't know each other bring a pillow and cuddle on the floor with total strangers. It's supposedly a boundary-appropriate activity but all I can think of is what if the person cuddling up to me has bad breath or is allergic to bathing. Are people so desperate for the human touch that they would let a bunch of strangers snuggle up to them?

I've been married twice and I never remember either one of my ex-husband's saying "let's cuddle." It's not that we didn't do it. I just think they didn't even have that word in their vocabulary.

I guess things have changed. Maybe men are finding it easier to express themselves and they like to cuddle. The man I'm dating now is a cuddle bear. His favorite word is "cozy!" It's fun to throw some fluffy blankets and pillows on the couch, turn the lights down low and watch a good movie with him. But we sure didn't do that on our first date!

Cuddling to me is a very affectionate and caring gesture. I want to embrace someone I really like for warmth or comfort or to show my love. I'll cuddle with my grand kids while reading a story and, sometimes, my daughter will join in. I like to cuddle with myself, especially on these cold January nights.

But if a man's first suggestion is to come over and cuddle with me and we haven't even met, he is history. It tells me that he is either too cheap to buy me a cup of coffee, has no intention of really getting to know and understand me, and only has one thing on his mind, (not too mention the very creepy idea of a stranger visiting me in my home.)

So if there are any men out there reading my blog, remember to save a few bucks so that when you want to meet a woman for the first time, you can suggest the local Ram's horn.

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