What are you doing New Year's Eve??????

This seems to be the question I've been asked by nearly every man I'm talking to. Whether they are old friends or new acquaintances, the question is the same, "What are you doing New Year's Eve?

Since I don't want to appear too eager for a date, and since I really don't care one way or another, I tell them I have a few options; I'm either babysitting or going to a party.

Now, I'm not really lying because my son usually has a party and I'm sure I could crash it. I also have two grand daughters and I'm sure I could babysit them. I just don't want to commit to anything right now since I'm really hoping to spend that evening with the man I'm casually dating. However, he's in the hospital right now with pneumonia, so it's looking rather doubtful.

I don't know why, but my inbox has been pretty busy lately with new emails from interested men. I don't know if there is a panic the closer it gets to the end of the year or if it's just that I'm looking cute (which is what I'd like to think) but the men are coming out of the woodwork.

Earlier in this dating game, I would have been flattered with all the attention, but now I'm just getting tired of it. I don't know what it's so hard to find a good match, but it is. I have to have the right amount of chemistry, I have to laugh a lot with the person, and I have to be able to have a good conversation and an easiness about myself with them.

With all of the sudden interest in me, I figure it must be due to the holidays. No one must want to be alone. I don't know why, but I'm fine with it. It's all overwhelming to me, so a few days of peaceful tv watching and a little visit here and there is perfect. If I end up spending New Year's alone, it won't be the first time and I'm sure it won't be the last.

The holidays are almost over, so I might as well enjoy the rush of interest while I can. The future may bring a dry spell for me. But then again, there's always Valentine's day!

Am I getting too picky in my old age?

The fact that I haven't posted in a month doesn't mean my dating experiences have come to a screeching halt. It's just the contrary, in fact. I've been going out so much I haven't had time to blog.

First things first. Don't be jealous. Each date I go on is an adventure in confusion, excitement, doubt, anticipation, frustration, hope and disappointment. Not necessarily in that order, except the end, disappointment. I would much rather have a significant other to love and cherish me. But, until that happens, I need to keep fishing in this sea of men.

There is something I've discovered about myself though that interests me. I think I'm getting fussier as I get older. I used to joke that my criteria for finding a man was to be clean, have a job and have all his teeth.

But I've broadened that criteria a bit. For instance, I can't tolerate smoking. I don't want to be around someone who lights up a cigarette, pipe or pot. I also don't want to date someone who abuses alcohol. A few drinks is fine, but I don't want to watch the transformation of a sober man into a drunk. I refuse to.

I don't care too much for ignorance either. The type of ignorance I'm speaking of is not if he's book smart or schooled (bonus) but if he is ignorant about life, people, cultures, etc. Someone whom I'm dating and am attracted to has shown his bigoted side. This really bothers me. Another man uses the most politically incorrect terminology to describe ethnic food and people that I think I'm out on a date with Archie Bunker.

I can't handle liars or braggers. If a man spends 1/2 hour talking about how many watches he owns and how much each one costs, then he is too superficial for me.

A lot of men my age ride Harleys, which I have no intention of climbing on, so that eliminates about 50% of the population of single men.

If I'm out with a man, he needs to focus his attention on me. Checking out other women and making little comments shows me how little he respects me. When that happens, I can feel myself turning into ice.

I've also found that I want someone who just wants me and that's where this task becomes difficult. Sometimes I click with a man and he clicks with me, but it's never enough for the two of us. Due to the bounty of single people on line, I believe that we all are looking for something better to appear. So even if we find someone we like and get along with, sometimes it's not enough.

I know I can't have someone in my life just to have someone in my life. It's got to be deeper, more meaningful and lasting. I'd rather be alone or just continue this dating game. As I've said before, I'm not ready to turn into the crazy cat lady just yet. I do have hope that I'll find the man that's good for me.

Notice how I did not say the perfect man. He doesn't exist, nor does the perfect woman. I understand that completely and so I don't really care about looks as much as I do about personality. If he drives an older car, I don't care. His profession doesn't matter to me either, as long as he supports himself. He needs to be honest, funny, and romantic. His hands need to be clean and he has to smell good.

As for the teeth, he has to have at least most of them.

Over the phone chemistry

About a month ago I was contacted by a guy named Bob from a dating site I'm on. He had a nice profile..holding hands, flea markets, window shopping and cooking meals together. It was brief, but I liked it. He didn't smoke or drink or jump out of planes. My kind of guy!

We started to chat and found out we had a LOT in common. He loved old movies, especially horror and science fiction. He got so happy on one of our chats that he asked if he could call me. So I agreed.

Our phone conversations consisted of swapping stories about our favorite movies, restaurants and books. We seemed to really have chemistry over the phone. He started texting me daily. "I miss you * I'm thinking about you * I like your smile."

It was fun getting so much attention from him. He started making plans for us to spend Mondays together for lunch, have a BBQ at his house and watch his big screen TV.

After a week of phone conversations which ended in him called me babe and sweetheart, we decided to meet.

Like well informed online daters, we decided to meet for coffee at McDonald's.

I arrived first (on purpose) so I could position myself facing the door, ready to smile when he arrived. I was wearing a blue shirt, he was to arrive in a yellow shirt. Several minutes after I arrived I saw a tall man in a yellow shirt walk into the restaurant.

I don't know if the look of disappointment showed, and I feel shallow for saying so, but his online picture was so much nicer looking that the real deal. (readers,,listen and learn..if the profile picture is the size of a postage stamp and is taken from 25 feet away, beware)..

I won't describe in too much detail some of his features, but it was hard to look at him. I know how terrible that sounds, but sometimes the eyes have it, and when you can't look into a person's eyes, you are in trouble. That's what happened to me. I tried to pick out a feature that was pleasant to look at. Since it wasn't his eyes, his nose or his lips, I looked at his smooth complexion. It was the best I could do.

During lunch, Bob did all the talking. I tried to keep up with him, but he was on a roll. Maybe he too was disappointed or maybe just nervous, but he yammered on and on about the variety of restaurants that were close to his office.

The conversation went a little like this...

Bob..."well, I like to go to Big Boy on Wednesday, but sometimes I go to Max and Erma's, although I haven't been there in awhile. On Monday I go to Busch's Market because they have free chocolate chip cookies, so I go in and grab a handful and walk around and eat them, and then as I am leaving I grab another handful. Sometimes, if I feel like Chinese, I go to the Chinese place and then I like to go to Taco Bell. But, then, there's this really good food court in the mall, there's Burger King, and Panera bread, and The Wok shop, and a coney island, and etc, etc. etc......

There was no where for me to jump in and talk. So, I just made little agreeing sounds like, "oh, Wow, Nice."

After lunch he looked at me and said, "so what do you think?"

I wasn't sure what he meant, so he clarified it.."What do you think about us?"

Since I'm a nice person, I answered, "I would like to see you again." (what was I supposed to do, he had just bought me a cheeseburger and fries.)

He walked me to my car and gave me an awkward hug, promising to call me later on.

The next day he called me and gave me a run down of his day, called me babe, and I never heard from him again.

I gave him a "test" one day when I saw him online. I wondered if he would respond to me so I wrote..

"Hi Bob"

He replied..."Hi."

I wrote, "How are you?"

He replied, "fine"

I wrote, "well, have a nice night."

He replied, "Thx"

Funny. He couldn't even spell out the work thanks. That was the end of our correspondence. He never told me why he lost interest. I didn't care one way or the other because I too had lost interest. Maybe he picked that up with my body language. Maybe he wanted me to be more aggressive. I'll never know.

It's one of the great mysteries of online dating. It's the reason I can't let any of it get to me. I take it all with a grain of salt and a smile.

If my date with Bob would have been a match made in heaven, this sure would have been a short lived blog!