Put me in a nunnery!

My skin grows ever thicker as I continue my online dating experience but there are times when I wonder if I shouldn't just become a nun!

It would be so much easier. I wouldn't have to have a big wardrobe. Saying goodbye to my cleavage shirts might be hard, but I could do it. I could live in a convent and not worry about who's going to pay the rent. I could delete my profiles on the dating sites, cause I'm sure no one wants to date a nun. There would be no need to shave my legs or dye my hair. I could toss out the shimmery lip gloss and sparkly eye shadow. Instead of mindless internet chatting with horny strangers I could immerse myself in religious studies. I could sit in a sheltered grotto and say the rosary instead of sitting in a ram's horn drinking coffee and listening to my date complain about his ex-wife and her relatives. It would be so much more enriching to help feed the poor than to try and nourish a man's damaged ego.

I know I could take the vow of poverty. I'm basically there already. The vow of obedience might be more of a challenge for me. However, the real challenge would be the vow of chastity.
That might be a little tougher. I don't know if nuns are allowed to take medication, but I'm sure I could take something to kill my libido. I guess I could live without the hand holding and the kissing. Who needs intimacy anyway??

Who am I trying to kid?

I guess I'll just keep trying to tough out this dating life. I would look dumb in a habit anyway.

Over the phone chemistry

About a month ago I was contacted by a guy named Bob from a dating site I'm on. He had a nice profile..holding hands, flea markets, window shopping and cooking meals together. It was brief, but I liked it. He didn't smoke or drink or jump out of planes. My kind of guy!

We started to chat and found out we had a LOT in common. He loved old movies, especially horror and science fiction. He got so happy on one of our chats that he asked if he could call me. So I agreed.

Our phone conversations consisted of swapping stories about our favorite movies, restaurants and books. We seemed to really have chemistry over the phone. He started texting me daily. "I miss you * I'm thinking about you * I like your smile."

It was fun getting so much attention from him. He started making plans for us to spend Mondays together for lunch, have a BBQ at his house and watch his big screen TV.

After a week of phone conversations which ended in him called me babe and sweetheart, we decided to meet.

Like well informed online daters, we decided to meet for coffee at McDonald's.

I arrived first (on purpose) so I could position myself facing the door, ready to smile when he arrived. I was wearing a blue shirt, he was to arrive in a yellow shirt. Several minutes after I arrived I saw a tall man in a yellow shirt walk into the restaurant.

I don't know if the look of disappointment showed, and I feel shallow for saying so, but his online picture was so much nicer looking that the real deal. (readers,,listen and learn..if the profile picture is the size of a postage stamp and is taken from 25 feet away, beware)..

I won't describe in too much detail some of his features, but it was hard to look at him. I know how terrible that sounds, but sometimes the eyes have it, and when you can't look into a person's eyes, you are in trouble. That's what happened to me. I tried to pick out a feature that was pleasant to look at. Since it wasn't his eyes, his nose or his lips, I looked at his smooth complexion. It was the best I could do.

During lunch, Bob did all the talking. I tried to keep up with him, but he was on a roll. Maybe he too was disappointed or maybe just nervous, but he yammered on and on about the variety of restaurants that were close to his office.

The conversation went a little like this...

Bob..."well, I like to go to Big Boy on Wednesday, but sometimes I go to Max and Erma's, although I haven't been there in awhile. On Monday I go to Busch's Market because they have free chocolate chip cookies, so I go in and grab a handful and walk around and eat them, and then as I am leaving I grab another handful. Sometimes, if I feel like Chinese, I go to the Chinese place and then I like to go to Taco Bell. But, then, there's this really good food court in the mall, there's Burger King, and Panera bread, and The Wok shop, and a coney island, and etc, etc. etc......

There was no where for me to jump in and talk. So, I just made little agreeing sounds like, "oh, Wow, Nice."

After lunch he looked at me and said, "so what do you think?"

I wasn't sure what he meant, so he clarified it.."What do you think about us?"

Since I'm a nice person, I answered, "I would like to see you again." (what was I supposed to do, he had just bought me a cheeseburger and fries.)

He walked me to my car and gave me an awkward hug, promising to call me later on.

The next day he called me and gave me a run down of his day, called me babe, and I never heard from him again.

I gave him a "test" one day when I saw him online. I wondered if he would respond to me so I wrote..

"Hi Bob"

He replied..."Hi."

I wrote, "How are you?"

He replied, "fine"

I wrote, "well, have a nice night."

He replied, "Thx"

Funny. He couldn't even spell out the work thanks. That was the end of our correspondence. He never told me why he lost interest. I didn't care one way or the other because I too had lost interest. Maybe he picked that up with my body language. Maybe he wanted me to be more aggressive. I'll never know.

It's one of the great mysteries of online dating. It's the reason I can't let any of it get to me. I take it all with a grain of salt and a smile.

If my date with Bob would have been a match made in heaven, this sure would have been a short lived blog!

On your mark, get set, Date!

For the past three years I've been writing a creative art blog that chronicles my ideas, art work, motivations, inspirations etc.

I've always read that you should write about what you know, what you are passionate about, and that's just what I've done.

However, I've found myself, at the age of 54, single and back in the dating game. I thought it would be fun to blog about my dating adventures and mishaps. If you are single like me, I hope you can relate. If you are married, be glad and enjoy the stories. I hope to hear dating stories from my readers too. Let's just keep it PG13!

A little bit about me...

I was married for 18 years and when I was 38 my husband fell in love with someone and left me. Simple story, told too many times, and now is ancient history. At the time though, it was an interesting time for me, since I felt like a lamb going to slaughter when I entered the dating arena. I was timid and naive. After a few years though, I remarried at the age of 42.

Ahh, but that was not a happy marriage and once again I found myself divorced at 48. Disgusted at my bad luck in love, I retreated to my house for three years, not dating anyone, not even talking to the opposite sex. I called those years, "the nunnery". Finally, at age 50 I met a nice man and dated him for three years, but alas, that too ended.

So, now at the age of 54 I'm back out in the dating scene, although it's slow...did I mention S..L..O..W..? I am not in any hurry to meet the man of my dreams but I would like to enjoy the journey and, since I know I'm not the only one my age who is going through this, I thought it would be interesting and fun to start this blog.

I will try to be honest, sincere and safe in all of my adventures. I also hope that I can inspire those of you who are a little timid to get out there and date. Trust me, it's like going on a job interview. The job won't come to you, you have to go find it. The more job interviews you go on, the better you are at it.

Why Frumpalicious?

When I thought of all of the different names for this blog, Frumpalicious kept swirling around in my head. Although I'm not entirely frumpy, I'm overweight and far from being a fashion model. I can dress up nicely, but usually it's simple. Black outfits with a bit of cleavage, maybe a simple pair of earrings, etc.

I then saw in the urban dictionary that it is an actual word although it has two definitions. The first is..Someone who is physically frumpy, yet dresses or acts in a way that makes her less frumpy and more appealing. The second definition is..sexy and fantastic. bonable. screwable. pure sex.

Well, I thought I would combine both definitions into one...Someone who is physically frumpy, yet is sexy and fantastic! Frumpalicious! I love it.