What's with all this cuddling?

Several times over the past few weeks, men have written to me and one of the first suggestions for a date is to come over and cuddle.

I personally love to cuddle, however, I hardly think it's what I want to do on a first date. I would like to reserve that for someone whom I'm extremely fond of and want to have a relationship with. Cuddling with a perfect stranger is the furthest thing from my mind. Not to mention, I think it's the new code word for "let's have sex."

Not only do the men on the online dating sites use this word in every other profile, now there are "cuddle parties" where people who don't know each other bring a pillow and cuddle on the floor with total strangers. It's supposedly a boundary-appropriate activity but all I can think of is what if the person cuddling up to me has bad breath or is allergic to bathing. Are people so desperate for the human touch that they would let a bunch of strangers snuggle up to them?

I've been married twice and I never remember either one of my ex-husband's saying "let's cuddle." It's not that we didn't do it. I just think they didn't even have that word in their vocabulary.

I guess things have changed. Maybe men are finding it easier to express themselves and they like to cuddle. The man I'm dating now is a cuddle bear. His favorite word is "cozy!" It's fun to throw some fluffy blankets and pillows on the couch, turn the lights down low and watch a good movie with him. But we sure didn't do that on our first date!

Cuddling to me is a very affectionate and caring gesture. I want to embrace someone I really like for warmth or comfort or to show my love. I'll cuddle with my grand kids while reading a story and, sometimes, my daughter will join in. I like to cuddle with myself, especially on these cold January nights.

But if a man's first suggestion is to come over and cuddle with me and we haven't even met, he is history. It tells me that he is either too cheap to buy me a cup of coffee, has no intention of really getting to know and understand me, and only has one thing on his mind, (not too mention the very creepy idea of a stranger visiting me in my home.)

So if there are any men out there reading my blog, remember to save a few bucks so that when you want to meet a woman for the first time, you can suggest the local Ram's horn.

Worst Date Ever

I thought it would be fun to see hear about the worst date you've ever had.

To get the ball rolling, I will share the worst date I've ever had.

I met "Bob" (yes another Bob) on yahoo personals. He sounded like a nice man, yet he did not have a picture. As I've said before, in this day and age, with digital cameras and quick processing from Walmart and CVS, everyone should have a decent current picture of themselves. So, the first clue in online dating that your date may be different looking is if they don't have a picture on their profile and they can't send you one privately. I have to admit, that it was the first "online" date I ever had, and didn't think it was that big of a deal. Never again would I meet someone without seeing a photo first.

Another big mistake I made was that I allowed this man to pick me up at my house. I had talked to him so many times on the phone that he sounded trustworthy, so I agreed that he could pick me up.

When he arrived, I met him on the porch and approached his car. He wasn't getting in my house! He was driving an old truck and when I crawled into the front seat I was disgusted to see that the car was covered in dog hair. It was everywhere, clinging to the mirrors, the seats, the windows and floor. If I would have had allergies I'm sure I would died in that truck. I knew from that instant that I wouldn't go out with this man again, because of the dog hair. (Unless he vacuumed it first.)

After I got over the shock of seeing the dog hair, I really got a good look at his face. He had a full, unkempt beard, which I do not like. He told me over the phone he had a slight beard. I don't know what he think slight means, but he looked like grizzly Adams. He had a shiny bald head and big wild eyes. The eyes are what I remember the best. He would look at me sideways and his eyes were crazed looking. Yet, he was polite, so I didn't have much fear. I just wanted to get the date over with, and it had just started!

As we drove along, Bob made a few sexual innuendos which I ignored. He also implied that we were already a couple, which caused me to blurt out, "Hey, this is our first date,,slow down!"

Bob took me to his favorite restaurant; a polish place about 30 minutes away. Polish. Yes, Polish. Kielbasa & Cabbage are not the kinds of foods that one usually eats on a first date, but the choices were limited, so I indulged. Needless to say, Polish food tastes great but it doesn't get along with my digestive system. Did I mention that the restaurant was 30 minutes away?
After dinner I asked Bob to stop at a gas station because I had to use the facilities; not once, but twice did I need to stop.

Even though I was ready to get home as soon as possible, Bob didn't want the date to end, so he suggested that we should go on a walk. I agreed and he headed the truck over to Henry Ford Estate in Dearborn. The home was closed for repairs but the wooded grounds were open for touring. However, it was just before dusk and there wasn't another car in the parking lot. We both got out of the truck and started to walk towards the pathway, but I had a feeling of dread come over me. Maybe I've read one too many horror stories, but I didn't feel comfortable walking in the woods with this man.

I took a few more steps towards the walkway then stopped suddenly. Being the quick thinker that I am, I held onto my stomach and looked at him.

"You have to take me home," I said.

"Huh?" he asked, with a dumbfounded look.

"Yes, I feel sick and need to go home." I moaned. I'm not a great actress but he fell for it.

"Ok," he said, "we can come back here some other time."

I hoped into the truck and continued to rub my stomach and make little sounds of discomfort as he sped me towards home.

The truck had barely rolled to a stop as I jumped out.

"Thanks for the nice time, " I said over my shoulder as I dashed for the door.

"Can I come in for a cup of coffee?" he asked pathetically.

"Oh, no, not on a first date, " I said.

I entered my house and locked the door behind me as fast as I could. With in seconds, my phone rang.

It was Bob.

"Would you like to go on a second date?" he asked.

"We'll see, " I said.

"The date can start in 5 minutes, I'm still outside, " he remarked.

I double checked the lock on the door and told him I still was feeling sick. He apologized and said he would call again.

Later that night when he called, I didn't answer. The next day I ignored the phone again. I felt horrible about it, but I didn't know how to tell him this wasn't a match for me.

I then started to get emails that sang my praises. I was an angel. He couldn't believe I would date someone like him. He couldn't wait to see me again.

Finally, I sent him a reply telling him that he was a sweet man, but that I didn't see it going anywhere.

I never heard from him again.

So, what did I learn from this experience?

1. Never go on a date with someone who doesn't send a picture.
   
2. Never let a stranger pick me up at my home.
3. Never let a stranger take me for a walk in the woods.
4. Never eat Polish food on a first date...(or second, third, fourth or fifth)

Have any worst date ever stories you would like to share? Send me an email or leave a comment. I would love to hear them!